As a mother, the constant and consistent daily grind can be challenging. If you have more than one child, chances are you are on the verge of losing your mind. Between waking up and bedtime- it’s a 24-hour grind. Oh, and what about that housework? Yes, that too. Although it most always is neglected or rejected in favor of saving your sanity with a 10 o’clock bath. Or make that 11 o’clock at night since your toddler still refuses to go to bed that night!

The funny part about being a mom is that you’re almost expected to be “on” around the clock. Laundry, folding that laundry, cooking, putting the kids to bed (they almost always want just mom as my small toddler puts it) and cleaning up after everyone becomes the easy way out instead of trying to cajole them into putting toys away when they are tired.

If you have 2 children or more, all bets are off. With constant nagging from one child to play, and the other child feeding through the night and you may as well assign yourself the role of being the most tired mom in the world. Add in the fact that your small toddler comes home sick from school during the winter months, and you start asking yourself why you chose to live this life of chaos?

Being a mother, we know the grind will probably never stop, but somewhere along the way we always knew we wanted these small people and love their small giggles, and snuggles so we accept the grind. We accept the grind even though it comes without many thanks and sleepless nights. I felt that I had fallen into my role quite easy, but wanted to accomplish more! I wanted to contribute to the world outside of my small family.

That’s when I decided to become a surrogate mother.

I thought that my life was becoming so hectic, that I was missing something. I wanted to feel purpose and enjoy the moment of giving back to the world- when all I do is worry about my own world every day. I’m forced into a bubble as it seems, even having trouble finding time to enrich the lives of my friends with laughter and fun activities because I was so busy being a mom.

I couldn’t shake the want to do something outside of my world. So that’s when I thought about what I could be doing alongside my job, and alongside raising my kids and being a great wife. Some women go with projects. That wouldn’t work for me, because I’m not much of a project person and I could never wrap my head around creativity. Some women go with working out or exercising at that early morning round up in the park. I’m not much of a gym-goer and I am rarely on time, so that doesn’t really work for me either.

But I do have excellent pregnancies, and I noticed that I love being pregnant. That is one thing I realized after I had my second child was how easy childbirth was for me. I realized that my main love in life was my children, and how much joy I receive every day from watching them destroy my house and keep me up at night (jk, not that part of it!)- no I enjoy the laughs, watching my older son learn how to write, seeing his imagination come alive- and the simple wonderful smiles I get from my younger child.

Realizing that I have good pregnancies is one part of the equation of becoming a surrogate. The other part is knowing that there are so many parents in this world who have yet to experience the joy that I do- because of infertility. Infertility affects as much as 1 in 8 people (according to Resolve- the national infertility association). That means they either have trouble getting pregnant, starting their family, finishing their family, or experiencing the beautiful hustle bustle we call “motherhood.”

So, what does it take to become a surrogate?

Besides compassion and a heart for other people- there are 5 main qualifications to become a surrogate:

1) You must have had a child of your own

2) Your pregnancy history must be free of big complications. For the most part, surrogacy agencies want to make sure your pregnancy history is “normal.” If there were big complications such as gestational diabetes that could not be controlled by diet- this can be an issue. You are encouraged to apply to become a surrogate in any case, and you will be accepted or denied based on the desires of the fertility clinic you will be working with.

3) You have to have a healthy BMI. This goes without saying, but most surrogate mothers should lead a healthy lifestyle. For our agency- Made in the USA Surrogacy, we have accepted surrogates with BMI as high as 31 or 32, but this is the max cutoff.

4) You must be free of a criminal record

5) You must be between the ages of 23-38

Sounds easy right? Well, there may be other qualifications to becoming a surrogate, but you get the gist. If you’ve always wanted to make an impact in the world, but you aren’t sure how to do it around the hustle bustle- the best part about becoming a surrogate is that you can maintain your job and life as a mother, and still find purpose in giving the greatest gift that moms know how to give.

Written by Samantha Giermek
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